So been in living in England this summer, and it's funny how even in a bustling city people are pretty much the same everywhere. Pre-pubescent teens holding their arms across their stomach with a death grip to rival that of an alcoholic holding on to a handle of cheap whiskey, old men hunched over reading papers trying to make idle conversation with a barista who is far from interested, mom's trying to look like their nerves aren't frazzled as they walk/run after their children shhhhing with each tired step at their innocent yet awnrey squeals...nothing really changes it seems, except the postcode.
I suppose it shouldn't be surprised that is a shared experience I find for myself. Depression...hanging heavy and doesn't seem to be any blustering winds sweeping down the plains to remove it.
Master's is almost done in other news, and my advisor likes my PhD thesis...that is great. To be honest, I didn't picture myself here, I am surprised I made it this far. I just wish I had enough.. or maybe less...something whatever it is to enjoy it.
Food has gone back to shit. So really no recovery there right now I am sad to report after having done really for over 100 days straight since my birthday.
I'm not sure what needs to change, but I really hope whatever needs to does because I am so so tired of this. So tired and so so lonely.
Anyways packing for Edinburgh now, and if anyone is ever wondering is it worth it to visit Scotland... yes, 10/10...the highland hiking, the whiskey, the castle, it is incredibly brooding and romantic and I am so excited to be going back.
I bet you didn't know you would be getting a side of travel advice with the usual depressive ramblings.
with love,
~ell
Perfection Is the Goal, Peace is What it Brings
