I constantly feel punished by my feelings. If I tell someone I'm upset it's my fault for not being understanding. If I'm happy and bouncing off the walls, I need to tone it down people are busy. I know that things are busy, people are busy, school is busy, but honestly I feel like everyone is to busy for me. I never meant to be a burden, and I would think by the countless amount of texts, nights spent waiting, and prayers prayed for success it would be obvious I am so so incredibly appreciative. But if I say any or all of these things I get to watch people curl into themselves and say horrible things about them and our relationship. I'm just tired of feeling like I'm ungrateful or difficult for not being understanding... When did it become a personal attack to have feelings about a situation?
With love,
~ell
