Spinning

I'm spinning. I purged. I had to after a binge what choice am I left with my goal although it may be less or more for right now is 90 by may. I can do it if I just try I have before and then I can actually feel like I have found some level of success. I just have to find the want. And this key is moderation, eating enough so I can go to the gym twice a day eating enough so I can sleep. I need to do this and I will do this if I just do it moderately. I'm spinning so much in my head right now I can hardly think. Purging is not a life I want anymore. Restricting is so much easier if I just moderate and ease back into it. Not that I'm sure if anyone cares at this point, my family is at a loss and honestly do am I. I feel very much alone.

with love,
ell